Most young people take class at school for wide ranging subjects of a purely academic sort, but schools also provide more practical classes like home economics and shop. Sadly, few if anyone trains the young in how to handle themselves in an important social or business setting, despite such a gathering's potential for making all sorts of advancement. Luckily, the average college graduate and non-graduate alike can complete their education with books on small talk.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
Many people have the intelligence and ability to succeed, but are held back in subtle ways because of their blue collar manners. Such people are nearly a stock character in old novels. They are the just-arrived wealthy who are disliked by the old money types who party at the Hamptons, but who are just too powerful to avoid completely. Characters like this are immediately marked by their unsophisticated conversation.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
One's humor should be fresh, quick to the point, and slow to offend even the most sensitive. It is worth while to cultivate at least a passing interest in many subjects without showing oneself to be overwhelmed with passion about them. Above all, one should learn to find what is likable in the people one encounters.
It is rude not to talk to everybody, or at least a broad range of people. One must not fall into the habit saving one's newly found wit for those who will be useful. This way one gets not only invited to the right parties, but invited back.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
Many people have the intelligence and ability to succeed, but are held back in subtle ways because of their blue collar manners. Such people are nearly a stock character in old novels. They are the just-arrived wealthy who are disliked by the old money types who party at the Hamptons, but who are just too powerful to avoid completely. Characters like this are immediately marked by their unsophisticated conversation.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
One's humor should be fresh, quick to the point, and slow to offend even the most sensitive. It is worth while to cultivate at least a passing interest in many subjects without showing oneself to be overwhelmed with passion about them. Above all, one should learn to find what is likable in the people one encounters.
It is rude not to talk to everybody, or at least a broad range of people. One must not fall into the habit saving one's newly found wit for those who will be useful. This way one gets not only invited to the right parties, but invited back.
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